Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Weekend Warriors

Big men on campus


I finally downloaded the Blogger app on my phone so now I can post photos of the kids I take with my phone camera! The first one's a shot from last weekend's walk on the campus where I work. Jacob felt that this little structure was the perfect place to "break it down" so he got up there and danced to his heart's content :-) Wish I'd gotten a video, but as soon as I said something about it, he stopped. The second one is my attempt at a selfie of all of us (FYI-a "selfie" is a self-taken photo, shot with a smart phone and posted on social media). This being my first attempt, it was not successful! But I did get most of all of our faces in there. We were riding bikes, and John Deere play tractors to be exact, on the driveway. I haven't posted much these last few weeks because it's been crazy busy. Between Dan's breakneck schedule with musical rehearsals (thank God the show goes up this weekend!) and the work-related projects I've got, it's been a whirlwind. But somehow we make it work. Having so much to do and not enough time means we get a lot of practice prioritizing, and that's not always a bad thing. Micah, our philosopher, asked me the other day was "mindfulness" is. I don't know where he heard the term, but I answered as best I could, that it was making sure you remembered something important or being a state that focuses not on the past or future but the "right now". Being in the moment. Many times over, I have learned this lesson from my kids. It's easy for me to ruminate over conversations I've had, mistakes I've made or worries about things to come. But when I'm with the kids, especially when I am alone with them, it's hard to focus on anything else but them and what they are doing, saying, feeling, being. And this is a healthy thing for me. I still think it's important to take time to reflect, but I don't need help in that department. I've already got that one wrapped up with a bow on top. I need to remember something vital: what is happening right now is important, too. And if I'm not paying attention, it'll become something I've missed instead of a memory to cherish. And I love those. This morning Jacob came into our room before 6 (after being up twice in the night because of thunder) and jumped up in the bed with us, rooting his hand around to find the crook of my neck for comfort, like he always does, and in the process pulling out pieces of my hair, inadvertently scratching my face with his nails, and generally waking up a cranky and tired mom. "Wake up, mama! Morning time, c'mon, mama. Get up!" I'm not going to say I was a glorious paragon of saintly motherhood in that moment. But before we got up and brewed the coffee and got on with the day, I did have a fleeting thought: someday, he'll be grown up and we won't have these kinds of times with him.  We'll be remembering when. So I'm holding on, while I learn to let go.

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