Blessings and Sacrifice

Don't get me wrong. I love the Christmas season, the twinkling lights and decorations, seeing my kids' excitement, visiting with family and friends. But I don't love illness. And unfortunately those things usually coincide. Currently, Micah is the only one who seems to be in tip-top shape at our house. Although I just learned that the flu has hit our town and strep throat is going around Micah's school. I'm just praying he can stay healthy and the rest of us can recover before we fly to Wisconsin. There are many things I love to share with our family, but disease is not one of them. Last night as I was rocking Jacob back to sleep after a stuffy nose woke him up, I had a flash of insight. It's still ironic to me that in my most brain-addled, middle-of-the-night state the best things come to me. As usual, I was going back and forth between isn't-he precious thoughts and I'm-exhausted-and-wish-I- could-go-back-to-sleep thoughts. I started thinking about how much parents sacrifice for their children. The things Dan and I do for Micah and Jacob, the things our parents have done and still do for us. Sometimes, we don't even think of those things as sacrifices, it's such a blessing to be able to give them. The fact is that gifts, blessings and sacrifice are tied together. It's a blessing to be holding this sweet baby, to be able to comfort him the way a mommy can. It's a sacrifice, albeit on a small scale, to get up multiple times in the night and do it, forgoing my own much-needed rest. I started thinking about Christmas, this season of giving. We think of Jesus as God's gift to humanity, an outstretched hand that says, "I love you, I will make a way for you." That is the bright, joyful message of Christ and Christmas. But the other part is all bleak-midwinter. It's that moment when Jesus came from heaven to earth and gave up his throne to become one of us. God gave up his son. Sacrifice. I can't speak for God, but sometimes I wonder if he wasn't doing kind of the same thing I was last night, in that moment, on a greater scale. Joy that he could make a way for us, his loved creation, to get to know him; grief because he knew what it cost. It makes my sacrifice look small. The holidays can be a dark time for many. We make happy memories but we grieve over the ones gone by, the people we can't celebrate with anymore the circumstances that have changed, the disappointments. But there are blessings both small and large too, the fact that we're still here, our loved ones and the ones that love us, the little corners in which we find contentment. I'm so glad I have a God who understands that life isn't black and white it's a beautiful blend. Just a week ago, our town experienced terrible tragedy when several people were murdered. In a town this small, where everyone is related, this is a huge blow, not just to the family but to everyone. I pray that even these people would be able to find those small traces of light in all of this darkness. Merry Christmas and Blessed Advent to all.